the kerry campaign is in deep trouble. for the first time in my life, i have displayed a sign endorsing a political candidate in the front window of my home. what do i get for my trouble? this: the guy whose name is printed on it is a hopeless cipher. james carville might not even be able to pull the stick back on this terminal dive, although i’m sure the struggle in the cockpit is entertaining. when that corporate shill john “f” kerry went to the grand canyon and endorsed attacking iraq, i could hear the arteries popping in howard dean’s cerebellum. this tweedledum do-nothing senator is a tragedy of biblical proportions. he leaves no stone unturned in his search for ways to squander the presumably unbeatable advantage of being the candidate who can read.
by all rights, this kerry campaign is an epochal display of incompetence. today, the right is the easiest of targets. they are looking a lot meaner, greedier and more treasonous than usual. busybody suburban matriarchs wear purple-heart band-aids on their flabby forearms without a trace of irony or a pause for the purple hearts coming back from iraq in bags and wheelchairs. thousands dead and maimed, but not from going after bin laden. this turd alone is but the flagship of a punchbowl fleet encompassing haliburton, valerie plame, ahmed chalabi, wmd, the bin laden family, …the list is endless, like the colored handkerchiefs yanked by magicians.
yet, what’s that sound? it’s john kerry, dunking in his cup for his third helping of punch. “me too” he eagerly says. “see? i’m just like you, america. i can’t tell brown people apart, either.”
even america’s bloodthirstiest voters know the coach called the wrong plays after 9/11. some of them are even aware that it wasn’t really the coach, but the offensive coordinator who got us to this point. in the terror bowl, we’re down by two, it’s third and long, we’re on our eighteen and there’s 2:11 left. on the sidelines, bush and cheney won’t get off their cellphones to focus on killing the fundamentalists in afghanistan, they’re too busy with iraq to respond to 9/11. it’s plain for all to see.
kerry’s response?
mmm, good punch.