My name is Rob Warmowski. I was born on North Ashland Ave. and I live on South Wallace St. in Chicago. Professionally, I’m a writer and consultant to nonprofit organizations. Creatively, I’m a musician and contributing author to The Indie Cred Test (Penguin Books), The Jesus Lizard’s Book (Akashic Books) and my writing has appeared in the Huffington Post, Baseball Prospectus, Forbes True/Slant, Chicago Reader, Screen, Chicago Life and in numerous appeal letters sent to names selected randomly from the phone book. I have been guest lecturer on new media at Columbia College. I have been making electrically-powered noise for several decades. I created, produced and directed the web animated comedy series Officer Bob, and have written music for comedy TV shows including Upright Citizens Brigade (Comedy Central), as well as for video games, film soundtracks and theatrical scores.
Alarmingly and through no effort of my own, the major details of my life have regularly appeared as plot lines in America’s mainstream romantic comedies.
In the feature film High Fidelity, a John Belushi-like wag is found bearing the standard for punk rock from a storefront at Milwaukee and Honore streets in Chicago.
In the 1980s, a John Belushi-like wag obnoxiously bore the standard for punk rock from a music club at Milwaukee and Honore streets in Chicago. That wag was myself.
In the feature film Office Space, a hapless cubicle-dweller pretended to work on a Year 2000 software project.
In the 1990s, that was me. I was a hapless cubicle-dweller pretending to work on a Year 2000 software project.
In the feature film The Break Up, a charming Polish-American manchild gave humorous tours of downtown Chicago from aboard large vehicle.
In the 2000s, that was me. A charming Polish-American manchild, giving humorous tours of downtown Chicago from aboard large vehicle.
Sensing the pattern, let me provide the following as a service to Jennifer Anniston’s agent:
Her next script should center on Jen pluckily navigating middle age as an executive director for a multimillion dollar literacy charity, only to meet a charming man-child who fixes her computer, writes her speeches and ghost-writes her blog. He does all this despite hiding a terrible secret: he can’t read. Together, they learn about life and love. Cast Jack Black again this time, maybe.
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