Once, the internet served a different purpose than it does today. When the boys in the 1970s Pentagon basement finished the military communications project that eventually became the web, the last thing on their minds was the global distribution of porn and smart-ass cartoons.

Luckily for all involved, I don’t make porn.

Meet Officer Bob, the first in a series of titles forthcoming from Aught-Seven a cash bonfire satirical new media studio begun by myself and an enigmatic malcontent named Chris Kreb with pixel-wrangler par excellence Heather Smith.

Bob voice: yours truly (wrote it too) with art direction and animation by the lovely and talented Heather.

More titles are on their way, along with the requisite titters, chortles and yucks. Austinians: If you happen to spot Heather at SXSW Interactive this week, it’s best to not ask questions: simply offer decongestants and beer. She might favor you with a sticker…